I’ve been packing today and trying to find everything I need, including every document to start a new life yet again. My hand has been upon my forehead in distress several times today, but we got a vast amount of work completed for the move, my daughter and I. We are very much alike and share many genetic and personality similarities, except my hoarding. I keep little, primordial things that date back to before the kids were born, and I get agitated if I lose my things. I have lost so much that the little things mean the most…
Did I mention that I hate moving more than laundry or dishes? LOL
I hope you enjoy my short story of my day using all of my word challenges *smiles*
Have you ever been to a clothing-optional (nude) venue, such as a beach, resort, club, party, etc? If so, what did you think of the experience? Would you do it again? If not, would you ever consider going to a clothing-optional gathering? Why or why not?
I have never been to a venue where clothing is optional, but I do not know that I would ever feel comfortable going to such a venue due to my own viewpoints about myself. My self-esteem is not strong enough to strut across a beach or sit at a table naked and feel normal. I would find myself worrying about everyone else judging me because that is how my life has been my entire life. “You need a diet” or “Putting on a few extra pounds there, eh?” Those are the normal things I grew up with. My dad was very body conscious and never was out of shape. When I started putting on pounds, he began being critical of me. I still feel the effects.
I am back with the word challenges today from my favorite daily prompts, and I figured I would take it back to a time when life was easy, which was just being a kid who learned to write poems and found her creativity. I hope you all will enjoy!
The word challenges today are teacher from Nox, composition from Fandango, phobia from Ragtag, watery from WOTD via Cyanny, hint from My Vivid Blog (my first for this prompt), and repine from Your Daily Word Prompt (also the first one).
A teacher lit the light in my soul Bringing me to poetry composition The phobia of doubting myself vanished The connection become immediate and real No repine from me, in the feelings of my peers I wrote without of hint of holding back Like the watery falls from atop a mountain I found my way with words and expression I found who I am…
Since, I didn’t get much time yesterday to write and release, I will be using the words from September 27th (yesterday) and today to let all of this pain out of my heart. Hopefully all the words together will release some pain and provide something interesting to read for all of you. These inspirations, the challenges, give me a way to heal inside to carry on my day. They trigger my creativity instead of my mental illness. Thank you to all of you that contribute to me feeling better each and every single day.
As per usual, I will be combining my word of the day challenges into one post with a new poetry style, which today will be A L’arora. It is another Laura Lamarca style, and consists of four 8-line stanzas without a syllabic restriction. The 6th and 8th line will be the only rhymes.
This post is inspired by last night’s events with the toxic ones. I will be moving soon. I still don’t know how I feel about it. I may be going backwards.
I’m trying to move on but keep climbing to be pushed down Like running up a human-sized bowl with slippers on my feet Slipping, I struggle and wriggle and beg and plead unsuccessfully I have become amenable to your behavior, your ways, and your abuse My insides are screaming for safety, quality, and peace To feel the essence of my own being sounds of sanctity and bliss
Just let me be and leave me alone…let me live You think you have not erred…dumbfound and clueless
It’s too late to stop what you put into motion I am turning my back, walking away, gone soon In my eyes and heart, you’ll no longer exist A stranger with no sister, no nieces, no great niece Your family is leaving you and lacking one tear on our face Your own doing, losing us all this way
All I wanted is to breath, to excel, and be myself Your control, anger, and denial turned brightness gray
Calling me out of my name that came from my birth Pushing and yelling, your triggered my soul Pain and suffering was not ever the master plan of my move Dumbed out here like garbage, I needed a light for my path I was met with your darkness, exploits, and disdain
I have to save me now from the wrath of your illness Conversations and a relationship are dead, I refrain
You broke me from the innermost part of who I could be tomorrow Money is not what makes this world spin upon it’s axis Only controls people to make them as puppets of their masters All I wanted is to be who I am, successful and benevolent You wanted mirror-image, to mold me as an imposter
All of this sorrow, so unneeded, unnecessary, and preventable You can check my name off of your “people to abuse” roster
This is my first Song Lyric Sunday! I am really excited to do this challenge because as soon as I read the theme, I knew the song I would choose *laughs*. After the night I had, it was nice to giggle a bit today when I saw the theme was inspired by a new friend, Fandango. Here’s to you, Fandango!
I figured I would tell everyone that I am trying to get a little bit more done on the story of Sebastian and Davina, but I am going back an changing a few errors in the time period that I want the setting to be. I want the cell phones to be the old blocky ones, so the car of Davina will have to change from a Prius to something else. Clearly, that model of Toyota was not present at the same time as blocky, pull-the-antenna type cell phones *laughs*.
I am also correcting some grammar and usage issues that are driving me insane as I read through. When I publish, I rarely go back and read what I write because I am very critical of myself. This is the first time that the story is actually falling together. I found some cool coincidences and built the setting and locations from that coincidence. I won’t let the cat out of the bag yet haha!
I need to find a title, so the names may change on the “Untitled (for now)” posts. I am always open to suggestions and would give credit where it was due, of course *smiles*.
How do you feel when you begin editing yourself? Are you like me and can sometimes scratch a whole poem or story because you’re not feeling it? This is the first one that I have really wanted to edit and make whole. Pretty cool!
It is the weekend, so I am trying to distract myself from the toxic ones. I will be very productive today and tomorrow lol. How’s your weekend going?
Today’s poetry style I will be using with my word challenges today is Nove Otto. The words of the day are comfortable by the Daily Spur, attend from Fandango, cloudscape from Ragtag, and spectacle from the Word of the Day challenge via Kristian. Nove Otto is 9 lines of 8 syllables each line, and the pattern of rhyme is aacbbcddc.
As always, be sure to go over and show some love to the hosts of these word challenges, and please join in the fun of the creativity their words invoke inside of you.
The cloudscape that lingered above If possible, I would feel love Such a beautiful spectacle I stood there comfortable, numb To attend such beauty when glum Now feeling hypochondrial The anxiety removes peace My sanity begins decrease I pray to fight the obstacle