The Introduction of E. M. Kingston

Welcome friends to the ramblings of my subconscious! It is always hard to find the right words to introduce myself, as I am not good at speaking out front about who I am.  I will just share a little and hope that it intrigues you to read further.

As a young girl, poetry always challenged my mind to think in different directions..with my creativity peaking when I discovered poetry in the 6th grade.  It started with rhymes of my teachers (some getting me in quite a predicament with those said teachers), and then I started writing poems about nature and the world around me.  It became an outlet for me to express myself in ways that helped me understand more than letting others into my world.  As time has gone on, a darkness has filled a few of my writings, and it brings me to where I am today…rambling on about life, happiness, and even strife that I conquer or fail at in my everyday boring life.

I hope that my writings will touch you in a way to make you love what you are reading or allow you to relate to the feelings which I am bringing forth to you…the public.

Merry meet,

E. M. Kingston

My Prayer to Above

Today’s poetry style I will be using with my word challenges today is Nove Otto. The words of the day are comfortable by the Daily Spur, attend from Fandango, cloudscape from Ragtag, and spectacle from the Word of the Day challenge via Kristian. Nove Otto is 9 lines of 8 syllables each line, and the pattern of rhyme is aacbbcddc.

As always, be sure to go over and show some love to the hosts of these word challenges, and please join in the fun of the creativity their words invoke inside of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cloudscape that lingered above
If possible, I would feel love
Such a beautiful spectacle
I stood there comfortable, numb
To attend such beauty when glum
Now feeling hypochondrial
The anxiety removes peace
My sanity begins decrease
I pray to fight the obstacle

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

xoxo, E.M.

E.M.’s First #SoCS

This is my first Stream of Consciousness. I think I have an easy time rambling, so let’s see how this goes about near/far. You can find the rules for posting on Linda Hill’s blog. Be sure to check them out before you start the challenge. I am excited to try this challenge.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before moving to California, I had not been around my sister for many years. She lived in California, and I lived in Arkansas. It was quite a far distance between us physically, but we had a close relationship and would talk often. When I moved near her, in this same house, it was good at first. Then I had to start being controlled by her and start living the life she thought I should be living. Now, I want to get as far away from her as possible and never be near her again.

xoxo, E.M.

I Digress…

Ugh. Why am I up this early morning? Well…the toxic ones came home with their looks of hatred as I walked in from a cigarette outside. My answer was sleep.

I laid down before 4 pm my time, and I woke at 1:30 am. The drug cocktail put me out…like flipping the switch and shutting off all the power to an entire town.

I have quiet right now. I still don’t have peace. The boy is awake and walking about. I always know when it’s him. My younger dog, Marcellus, hates him and growls when he’s near. Sneaky. Flashlight on his phone creeping around like a bandit in the night…

Welcome to my Saturday *sighs*

Untitled (for now)…Part 3

If you read my Flash Fiction challenge post from 9/21/2021 hosted by Fandango, this is the fourth excerpt of the story I have started from that first #FFFC. In the second episode, the mystery of where Mommy (Davina) has gone or what has happened. In the third episode, a bad person comes into the mix, with Fiona and Sebastian starting to feel the effects of her not being home yet. Let’s continue, and I hope soon to have a title.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fiona, with Sebastian at her side holding her hand, approach the door of the restaurant. Fiona looks through the window to see if she sees Davina, and of course she is not in sight nor is she probably even there. She opens the door, and they are greeted by her co-worker, Sharon.

‘Well, hey Sebastian! Good evening, Ms. Fiona! What brings you guys in here so late in the day? Fiona with ya?’

Sebastian smiled and waved at the waitress innocently without hesitation, and he was oblivious to the dire situation that was going on around him when he saw her. However, that was exactly what Gammy didn’t want to hear, and Sharon must have seen that dread in her face, as her smile dropped to a face full of perplexity. Fiona didn’t gasp, but she felt like she did inside herself. The dread in her stomach becoming fire all over her body.

‘Oh…are you guys okay, ya alright?’, she asks as she looks down at the sweet little boy that really had no idea what was going on as he still smiled at her.

‘Share, we needs Mommy to come and gib us our drinks now, okay?’

Sebastian believes Davina is still there. Gammy sighs and begins telling the sweet waitress why they have come down at such a late hour, as it was nearing the graveyard shift hours. Fiona explained that they had no idea where she was and how she never made it back to the house when she got off of work. The pit of her stomach was down at her feet, and her fear was making her heart race. She looked for the nearest booth to sit down. She was heavy on her feet, feeling a bit dizzy with anxiety. Sebastian pops up onto the seat he normally sits upon excited and anxiously awaiting his momma.

‘I’ll go grab you some water, Ms. Fiona.’

Sharon rushes to the counter, hands shaking, and she fills a plastic Pepsi-labeled glass with ice and water, while grabbing a couple of straws and milk for Sebastian. Fiona knew she was showing signs of distress, and Sebastian, thankfully, had become less observant once they got to Boo’s.

Davina was not there. She knew she wouldn’t be. As the thought raced across her mind, she was distracted by the glass of water being placed before her and Sharon’s chilled hand being placed upon her shoulder for comfort. Gammy sipped her water slightly after poking the straw into the cup. Her hands were shaking as well.

‘Sebastian, sip on your milk for a minute while I talk to Sharon. I’ll be right over here’, she stated softly while pointing across the room to an area by the counter.

He nods agreeably but still looks around the room at all the other waitresses running around the room, still not seeing his mommy.

The countertop was cold as Fiona sets her cup upon it and asks Sharon if she had seen anything odd before the end of Davina’s shift or if she had seen her before she left. They were close, Davina and Sharon. They would sometimes meet next door at the club, The Verve, where her daughter spent her late shift. If anyone knew anything, Sharon would be that person.

‘Ya know, Ms. Fiona, it was a peaceful night in here when I was first coming in, and she had been taking care of a customer over there in that corner booth. They seemed to know one another, but I had never seen him in here before. I can tell you that she was in a hurry to leave to get home to Sebastian though.’

As Fiona’s head hung lower, she looked over to see Sebastian being a kid and playing with the straw in his milk…blowing bubbles and watching them pop. Giggling. Clueless. She realized she needed to keep it that way for a bit.

‘Thank you, Sharon. Is there anyone else on her shift you can think for me to call upon? Was Brad here during her shift?’

‘I think he had left early because Laura was not feeling well. They left together, but our cook has been here since 1 o’clock because the new cook didn’t show up for his shift. He’s not busy, so I’ll have him come talk to ya’.

She waddled away into the kitchen, and Fiona laid her face on the cool counter for a moment. Her face was so hot with the anxiety building in her gut. She lifted it as she heard feet shuffling near her. “Ma’am?”

Again, she asks about her daughter’s shift and if he saw or heard anything odd on Davina’s end of her shift. He knew nothing. He was stuck behind a range full of food on that shift. Where are you Davina? Who was that guy she was handling at the end of her shift? More thoughts ran crazy through Fiona’s chaotic mind. Everyone in the room was no longer there…only her thoughts…until Sharon brought her back to reality with another pat on the shoulder, this time to bring her eyes up from the counter and hear her.

‘You may need to make a report, Ms. Fiona. She’s not next door?’

‘No, I’m going in there next…but she’s not there. I didn’t see her car anywhere parked. I haven’t driven around back yet, so that’s my next step I suppose.’ She was frustrated and scared.

‘Do you want me to take Sebastian to play with Jenna? He can stay the night while you look around.’

Sharon would help out with watching Sebastian from time to time when Gammy had to go out of town to check in on their post office box out of town and when making sure to check in with the Marshall’s in Pulaski County, Arkansas on the nights Davina worked at the club.

‘Are you sure it wouldn’t be an inconvenience? I sure will appreciate it.”

‘Not at all, Ms. Fiona. I am glad to help.”

Sharon was scared too. She didn’t know why though. She didn’t know that they had been put there to be safe from Cole, a very abusive man who almost killed her right in front of Sebastian when he was just a year old. Both ladies head to the table to give Sebastian the news that he would spend the night with Jenna, Sharon’s daughter, and he was ecstatic. As most kids behave, he was always excited for a sleepover.

‘We were waiting for Davina, so he hasn’t had much to eat.’

‘I’ll get him the usual…go on ahead and handle what you need to, Ms. Fiona. He’ll be safe with me.’

Gammy kisses Sebastian on the forehead, grabs the truck keys from the booth’s table, and heads out the door once again to find her daughter. She looks around everywhere as she walking to her pickup…nothing. She hops in the seat, pulls away from the curb, and whips the big truck down the skinny alley on the other side of the brick building that housed both of Davina’s employers. As she creeps slowly down the alley, she sees it. She sees Davina’s Prius. The driver’s door is still open. She pulls up closer, tears welled up in her eyes and heart exploding in her chest. Her keys lay there…on the dirty pavement.

Fiona calls the police. The dispatcher answers. “I need help. Please hurry”.

Fibbing Friday by E.M

This Fibbing Friday was brought to us by Pensitivity101 and PC Guy, and this is my second challenge. The first challenge I did, I found from a fellow blogger, and I like stretching the truth on these posts and using my imagination to come up with answers very far from the truth. I’m an honest person in real life, so these are really fun. Enjoy my lies! *haha*

  1. What is the difference between an earth worm and an ear worm?
    An earthworm is round, blue, with many bumps that look like land masses, while an ear worm is a worm that wiggles up to your ear to tell you all of the secrets from people around you.
  2. What is a Mars Bar?
    It’s a gymnast’s practice equipment to make them spin like they are reaching the gravitational pull of the planet Mars.
  3. What colour is a peanut?
    Purple…duh! They get that way from being ran through a wine press after they have been toasted to paint them with the essence of goodness.
  4. What is meant by dressed up like a dog’s dinner?
    It means that it is filled with the text messages from all the girls who are texting your boyfriend, who is indeed a dog.
  5. What is an orange pippin?
    It’s a dessert found in the deepest rainforest, and it looks like Scotty Pippin when you squeeze the juice out.
  6. What do an owl, pussy cat and five pound note all have in common?
    They are quiet, light, and only come out when there is an apocalyptic threat in the area.
  7. Where would you find a Bunny Girl?
    In a magical forest that opens up only when you are in the back of a wardrobe. It’s said there are lions, minotaur, and witches there as well.
  8. What is the difference between an heir and a hair?
    An heir is a bubble that comes up from wild sea creatures in the Pacific Ocean as they are hiding from the humans passing by, and a hair is a golden needle that will weave the life you have always wished and dreamed about.
  9. What is meant by fringe benefits?
    They are things that sit on the ruffle of lace to make you feel more beautiful.
  10. What is a whimsy?
    It’s the best football play to ever be used on Sunday Night Football, but it can only be used when you have a terrible quarterback.

xoxo, E.M.

The Rhythm of My Chaos

Yesterday’s word challenges (September 23, 2021) were effort from the Daily Spur, suggest from Fandango, another day from Ragtag, and needles from Word of the Day Challenge via Cyanny. The poetry style I will be using is another Laura Lamarca style called La’ritmo. It was pretty cool that the words are all cohesive with one another and should be easy to correlate together in creativity and in the type of day that I had. I don’t like being late, but I always show up…even if I am late *smiles*.

Today’s word challenges (September 24, 2021) will also be on this post, and they are passion from Daily Spur, lecture from #FOWC, lamp from RDP, and anemone from the Word of the Day challenge via Melanie B. Cee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was supposed to be a normal, routine day
Waking, to the nothingness and quiet, I pray
Sometimes to no avail, but I always plead out
The rhythm of my chaos wins, without a doubt

Another day would have been better than that served
More effort extended, my intentions now curved
My triggers standing on end, seeking to obtain clout
The rhythm of my chaos wins, without a doubt

Surrounded by feelings, tears suggest I may care
The environment around me steals all the air
Thick and suffocating, the toxicity stout
The rhythm of my chaos wins, without a doubt

The way that they hate me is needless and obtuse
My mouth zipped shut without speaking, no more abuse
My unwanted voice silences to stop debate
The toxicity wins, my feelings desiccate

The needing to end my suffering and torment
Never-ending pain, like soft skin pounding cement
These emotions are raw and hard to navigate
The deep toxicity wins, the soul to desiccate

The normal girl full of passion and much desire
Saves her soul from this world, filled with that of hellfire
The lantern of my eyes fade and soul chips like slate
The deep toxicity wins, the soul to desiccate

Like an anemone, stinging me by the touch
This is all weighing too heavy on me, too much
Twisting and turning, there has to be a new route
The rhythm of my chaos wins, without a doubt

Normal sounds blissful like a fairy tale ending
Can you not realize the thoughts my head are upending
Another lecture, uninvited, I can never take that bait
The deep toxicity wins, the soul to desiccate

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

xoxo, E.M.

A Work in Progress – Days 2 & 3

Day 2 –

I woke up at a time that is considered late for me, 9:13 a.m. PST. Normally, I am up before 8. I did the normal routine of dreading dropping my feet on the ground, but my dogs were nagging to go outside since I slept so late. They’ll sneeze and make the bed move, sort of to say, “Hey…get ya ass out of bed woman!” I did…grabbed some of my iced coffee out of the fridge, and made our way out the patio doors.

I had not been up long and my phone rang. It was my ex’s mom, and boy, she had a lot to say. My daughter was there, and both of our jaws dangled on the ground with all of the hateful things that she had to say about her son. She had no idea that we had became friends and put past history aside…may even be working towards reconciliation…but I won’t assume to know or want to know about that. It was toxic at the end, and I have enough toxicity in my life without adding a relationship known to be toxic back to into the mix of my chaos. Anyhow…change the subject E.M.

Back to the call, I listened to this woman beat words of hate about her own son that she had carried and given birth to from her own body…absolutely triggered, shocked… I stood up for him and tried to make her see her son as something other than a “monster filled with anger”. He had a rough life, as most of us have, but life can be rougher if everyone who is supposed to love you actually hates you and despises the shoes you walk in. That was something I know better than anyone who has ever been in his life, and he would support this claim I am making.

With all that said, I contacted him immediately after hanging up the phone. Writing had to be put aside because I had to meet with him and give him a recording of the call that my daughter took after hearing the conversation’s first 30-45 seconds. He’s like a father to her. We love him. Always have and always will. He saved me from myself many times…more than I like to admit. Oh…there I go again…back to task *smh* We met up and had some dinner, passed the file, and gave some hugs…then I went about my way in the dark.

In between all the stuff going on with this son-bashing mother, if you will call her that…the toxic ones start their bull by texting about “if they can cook something to eat because their sick of fast food, sandwiches, and tv dinners”. Let’s make a note right now that this is her house, not mine and my daughter’s. I just occupy the downstairs bedroom…the blue room. All this petty nonsense is so unnecessary and more triggering happens each time…she knows this. So, triggered, night blind, and frustrated, I get us home to an alarm letting her know we are home and a door once open now closed upstairs. I try to write my challenges for the day, cannot concentrate, and spend the evening sitting outside enjoying a cool night with my daughter.

Unsuccessful day of writing to say the least, I admit. I’ll play catch-up today…

Day 3 –

Thus far, uneventful. That can change in an instant. I’m still feeling the effects of the triggers from yesterday. A conversation this morning did not help repress the trigger effects, so I am kind of all over the place. More to come…

xoxo, E.M.

Untitled (for now) Part 2

If you read my Flash Fiction challenge post from 9/21/2021 hosted by Fandango, this is the third excerpt of the story I have started from that first #FFFC. In the second episode, the mystery of where Mommy (Davina) has gone or what has happened. Shall we continue? I think we shall!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fiona heard the line click and the dreaded tone of a dead line ring back into her ear sending a chill down her spine. It could have been a bad connection, but there weren’t any storms in the area. It was that eerie feeling when you are coming into close contact with someone who scares you or the racing chest that pounds when you are in danger. Fiona’s face was white with fear.

‘Who was it, Gammy? You okays?’

His eyes were so sincere and innocent. She realized the fear she must be exuding in her body language, checks herself, and hangs of the phone slowly, laying her head on it for a moment. Her first thought was that Sebastian’s psycho father, Cole, had found them again and that Davina was in immense danger or…dead. It’s not that unexpected since she had seen in the movies how witness protection programs are not always protection. Witnesses get found all of the time in witness protection, and many end up dying by the hands of the psycho that they’re hiding from in the first place.

‘Everything is going to be fine, Sebastian. Gammy is okay, but, if you could grab your jacket, we will take a little ride to clear our heads and grab something special for Mommy when she gets home’

The problem was that she couldn’t even believe that crap spewing out of her chapped lips, and the sweet Sebastian, with Klaus at his side, went to grab his jacket. Indiana winters were pretty cold, especially when the wind would roll off of the Wabash. She knew that he knew something was not the usual because he cherished the little moments he would have with Davina.

Just then, he tugged at Gammy’s pants, smiled, and said, ‘Ok ready! We go get Mommy now?’

Perplexed in her mind, she said nothing back. She just smiled, took his hand, and led him to the car. She turned on the ignition of her black Chevrolet pickup and backed out. She had no idea where she would go or what she would do. She just remembered noticing Klaus staring at them out the same window previously occupied by Sebastian and his best friend.

She looked over to Sebastian, secured safely in his booster seat, and he was popping his head in every direction looking to see if they were passing Davina’s light blue Toyota Prius as they drove along the road. Fiona wished she would see her driving passed the truck too, but she also had a feeling in her gut that they would both be disappointed. When she arrived at their destination, Boo’s Crossroads Cafe, she pulled up, put the truck in park, and just sat there for a moment staring blankly at the building. She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to go in there and not see her daughter’s face staring back. She prayed she picked up another shift, but she knew she had not done that after calling earlier. Sebastian didn’t know that though.

“C’mon sweet boy…let’s go see where your momma could be?”

Good afternoon 😊

Challenges are coming a little later today. As some days happen upon me, this one has been really busy.

I wrote more on Untitled before bed, and it’s getting very intense. The plot is definitely building. I’m worried about Sebastian’s mommy.

Thank you to Fandango who had the #FFFC to trigger my creativity.

I will write again soon. Thanks to all of you for reading and following me as I express myself 🤗