E.M.’s Sunday Poser on Loneliness

This week’s Sunday Poser from Sadje addresses loneliness and how we handle it.

Image Credit: Keep It Alive

The times I feel lonely are when I want to be around people, but the person I want to spend it with is not actively interacting with me. I have pretty much been single for two years this August, and I have never gotten over him. We still talk, and I think we are mending fences. I think he’s just the one person I am supposed to spend my life with…the problem is he doesn’t know that yet. If he does know it, he is too guarded with me to let himself feel it. He’s a great, complicated guy, and I am just getting to know myself again. I am lonely without him in my life though. I miss a human hugging me and kissing me. I miss having my best friend laying next to me. It sucks, but I think eventually we will fix things and be one again. Wishful thinking, but I think it’s realistic. He is going to come to see me tomorrow, so there’s hope.

I overcome it by putting myself into work and family relationships. I love spending time with my daughter and grandbaby, and I love writing on my blog and studying my paralegal course. The void is filled by them, but there is always that need to love and feel loved by someone who is not family. I kind of choose to be lonely. If I cannot be with him, I am fine with not being with anyone.

xoxo, E.M.

E.M.’s Brain Tabs – RXC #109

From the moment my eyes open, the tabs begin to form

What will I write today?

What will my health be like today?

Don’t forget to medicate!

(Coffee, please!)

Make the coffee…play some games on my phone…

(Thank you very much!)

Okay…let’s go outside!

(I don’t function until three cigarettes are done and a cuppa is drunk.)

Don’t bother me yet.

Routine time!

How many challenges will I achieve today?

Look at all these tabs!

What’s for breakfast?

What will I snack on at lunchtime, if I eat at all?

Dinner will be ready at such and such time today.

Let’s write more on the book!

Should I share this piece of the book or nah?

Oh! That will be a good word to put in the story.

Dogs have to go pee.

I have to go pee.

Baby time!

I’m tired, but I will write a little bit longer.

Dogs barking…shush!

Medicate again!

Eyes are heavy…

(Just keep writing…)

Night night, WordPress.

Hello, Pillow! Hello, Bed!

I missed you!

Let’s turn everything off in my head now.

(Yeah right! That thing never shuts off!)

Shush brain…it’s time for bed…

(No thanks! I’ll keep you up just a while longer!)

Snuggle time… and finally, I can close all the tabs…

Goodnight!


This post was written for Reena’s Xploration Challenge #109, and the prompt was “My Brain Has Too Many Tabs Open”. The parentheses are my brain speaking.

Thankfulness: Sunday Poser #55

This is my first time participating in Sadje’s Sunday Poser, and I think I picked a good week to start. The prompt asks us (in this beautiful photo):

These bits of gratitude are in no particular order…just how they came into my mind as I write this. I am grateful to be alive and for my family who is being a great support system for me. Life had been pretty dark for a while, and things feel normal again. With all of the pain that I caused them with my illness, I am thankful that I was able to get help and make life easier for my loved ones and myself. I am thankful for having breath in my lungs, and I am so appreciative to have a roof over my head that is safe and secure. I am thankful for football, as silly as that sounds. Most of all, I am thankful for being a little girl’s Gigi that she can trust and love, and I am thankful to be a mother to my children. That was something that had been stolen from me for a very long time, and it’s really nice to have my children in my life. They have always been my priority and my heart, and I am so glad that life has brought them where they belong.

Her Shining Star – Flashback Friday

Each week, Fandango hosts a prompt called Flashback Friday. He invites us to share an old post from the previous year or on the exact number date (19th) of any month if you do not have a post for the exact date. This is a post from my old blog, and it was a poem I had posted on March 19, 2016. It’s funny that I have been blogging since 2016, but I never post much in November.


Here is my Flashback:

The kindness in her eyes
Turned to awesome fear
She couldn’t look away
Her vision tuning in so clear

Tip tap, tip tap, tip-tap
The light footsteps sing
Getting closer and closer
Speeding up to a full-swing

A silhouette approaches
Tightly, she closes her eyes
Shivering inside herself
Nervously she then cries

Lightly peeking eyes open
It’s standing before her face
Her eyes shine out with brilliance
Her fear now become displaced

Before her was no stranger
Her hero was there to stay
As they stand there together
Now laughing, cries fade away

The silhouette became her husband
The fear and anguish dissipate
No shadows there to fear now
Her heart pit-pattering with his embrace

Hand in hand they sway as one
As they walk towards the door
Her fear now non-existent
Facing where the shadow was before

She grips his hand tightly
Allowing him to take the lead
A light emerges from the hall
There was nothing to fear indeed

There stood her friends and family
Smiles lit upon each and every face
Feeling so silly, now smiling back
Finally, feel safe in this space

Her hero is her only love
Protecting her near or far
Leading her away from any harm
He’s her bright and shining star

©E.M. Kingston 3/19/2016

E.M.’s Truth for Tuesday

Today’s Truthful Tuesday is about life and how it decided to treat us on this November 16th Tuesday. PCGuyIV asks us how life is treating us and to share a truth about today.

My Tuesday has been traumatic to my body.

My dogs are rebellious at times, and they pee on things when they are ticked off at me. It’s annoying because they know to go outside, but they still find it necessary to show me who the boss is by pissing on something. To attempt to “retrain” them, I put a baby gate in the hallway that leads into the living room, since my sister’s chair corner and the arm of the couch had been my oldest, senile dog’s favorite places to give me the “what-for”.

So today, I climbed over the gate as usual with my short legs (I am only 4’11”), and my right set of toes catch the top of the gate in the worst way possible. Down I went! My knee hit first, and then I caught the rest of my body with my bad shoulder, wrist, and then my bum took some of the damage as well. I am sorer than I could imagine, and I have a purple goose egg below my knee cap. My feet are swollen from my bum taking the shock of the fall, and I am annoyed that we have to put a gate up for two bad babies that cannot stop hiking their legs. My shoulder blade in the back is screaming at me, and my right leg is cramping…and mind you that I did not fall on that one.

I am about to take my nighttime meds and take my sore bum to bed lol. I don’t know if I will be able to move in the morning, but here’s to hoping that my body heals itself in my slumber.

xoxo, E.M.

Unlocking that Special Feeling — Intellectual Shaman

Those who feel, that feelings are overrated don’t know the power of a feeling. We feel squashed by the vices of others—tightening, to control. Feeling alive—is so rare a feeling—when we travel to unfamiliar places or believe that we have magic at our fingertips. Music and words come out of us like grandiosity It’s a […]

Unlocking that Special Feeling — Intellectual Shaman

I do not do too many reblogs, but this post spoke to me. Those are the ones I always share with all of you. Feelings are important, and I think that sometimes we forget that other people’s feelings matter as much as our own. Feelings give us life, liberty, power, and tell someone who we are…purely by how we feel about ourselves or our situation. Empathy for others when they share their voice with you is so very important. If we all could feel this feeling that the Intellectual Shaman describes, I think the world we live in would be more desirable.

Love the people that surround you and the world in which you surround yourself. The act of feeling alive and one with the world around you is special. Be sure to run to the post and show this blog some love.

xoxo E.M.

Broken Serenity

The sun shines through the twiggy-trunked trees majestically.

Though the railings are bent and broken, they are still so beautiful as the light hits them the right way.

There’s a path where the brokenness of the roadside brings about new exploration.

I could sit there for hours and breathe in the sun’s love.

I could rest and relax here until the moon replaced the light in the sky.

I belong here sipping my coffee…letting the wind brush through my hair…

Serenity fills my body with life, and the clearness of the world beyond the rails brings me the first bit of peace of my day.


This post was written for Crimson’s Creative Challenge #157.

© E.M Kingston

E.M.’s Flashback Friday – 11/12/2021

I had to go back to my archive of poetry from my old blog to find something to share for today’s Flashback Friday prompt from Fandango. I did not have a post for the exact date of today, but I did have one for the date of 6/12/2016. It made me remember how long my darkness and unhappiness ruled my life, but that is not a bad thing. It makes me look forward, and forward has what I want and love in it.


Painful Love Lost

The battle fighting within me
breaks me from the inside out
as I see your faces as I remember you all
loving me the way you used to.

The tears I cry in my dreams are real
the memories like yesterday but today
but I cannot cry them when awake
for they make me feel weak and afraid.

I gave you so much of myself
that sometimes I have not much left
to share with others or even to sustain life
because you were my life, and you’re gone.

I try not to think of you most times
thinking the pain will just fade away
but this kind of pain sits in your gut
and it fights you and rips you apart.

Maybe that will make you feel better
knowing that I’m never going to be okay
but even still you should know
I love you all until the last breath leaves my lungs.

I was born to love you.

© E.M. Kingston 6/12/2016

I Found Out Today

Little secrets, little lies
Irrelevant at the time

Two hours later, not enough time
I was never really on your mind

Deception of mind, trying too hard
You never were really mine

All my money, financially struck
You used me while you moved on

Blame game, hurting my soul
I’m singing my same ole song

Loyalty I gave, destruction received
My heart is burning and in need

Broken promises, anger with hate
My word kept with tears on my face

Tearing burning heart, soul aflame
Maybe my stupidity is stronger than grace

Every single thing I had inside

Now crumble into nothing

My heart is cold and numb

Nothing left to give another soul

Your violations of trust burst inside me like fire

I found out.

© E.M. Kingston 2020


This is being posted for Fandango’s Flashback Friday. The original post was published on November 1, 2020.