E.M.’s Working Life ~ #FPQ 152

Fandango’s provocative question this week is :

What do you do for a living? If you are retired, what did you do before you retired? If you’re currently unemployed, what did you do before becoming unemployed?

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I am in limbo right now actually. I was working security at the hospital in my local area right before the pandemic hit. My job was outsourced to Allied Universal, which is a terrible company, so I took the layoff and began unemployment. I had already started school while working at the hospital. I worked graveyard shift, so I could get a great bit of my homework done while watching the doors, checking people in.

After I got on unemployment, I tried finding employment, but the pandemic had all of my options halted. I had a few interviews with CDCR, but then their prisons got covid very bad, so hiring for any position was put on hold.

Now, we are sitting on 2 years later, and my typing certificate has expired, and I have to recertify my typing skills to do any more applications with CDCR.

My dream job would be helping out in a legal office while I get my paralegal and take my LSAT. I think it’s obtainable.

I was disabled in 2013 due to a work injury, so I have been fighting with SSA to keep my money. It’s been an uphill battle. I just need it until I get my surgery, and then they can stick it sideways in their behind after that for all I care. (You get my point…I try to keep it clean when talking about them…)

So, long story short, I became disabled, moved to California, got a job, started school, got laid off, got my unemployment, graduated college with 2 Associate degrees, and lost my disability (work in progress).

So, that’s why I am here. It keeps me at bay in my anxiety and gives me an outlet to express myself. Thanks to Fandango for a great #FPQ this week!

xoxo, E.M.

Home Sweet Home – #FPQ 151

This week’s Fandango’s Provocative Question is:

Are you one of the seven out of ten people who is unhappy with the place in which you currently reside? If so, what is it about your place that causes your unhappiness? Or, are you one of the 30% who is not unhappy with your home? What is it about it that makes you happy?

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My answer to his question is:

I never feel unhappy with the home I am in because I am so grateful to have one. What makes me happy is that it keeps me warm, cools me in the hot weather, holds the food that is put into my mouth, and protects me from being homeless. Many people are living without homes after the pandemic caused folks to be forced out of their homes when the eviction memorandum ended.

If I did not live with my sister, I would be happy to have the home that I was blessed with. Home is where you make it and feel safe, so I am just peachy with my home sweet home.

xoxo, E.M.

New Year’s Resolutions – #FPQ 150

I am running super late on last week’s Provocative Question from Fandango, and I figured I would still put in my two cents on the topic. My insomnia is driving me crazy tonight.

The Question:

Do you plan on making any New Year’s resolutions this year? If so, can you share a few of them with us? If not, why not?

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My Answer:

When I was younger, I would always make a few resolutions, and they would range from starting a new job to losing weight. I do not think I have ever completed a resolution until last year when I made the resolution to graduate. I did it with honors, so that was a good resolution.

I had not planned on making any resolutions this year until I did a few of these types of posts asking about things of this nature. I found myself making a goal list on my Share Your World post.

I would love to complete at least three things on that list. That is my resolution.

Christmas Spending – #FPQ 149

This week, Fandango’s Provocative Question asks us:

For this year, do you think you will end up spending more or less than the average amount of $1,004 on holiday gifts?

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My answer this week is simple. I definitely spent less than the average amount this year. Disability has been trying to railroad me for the past year and a half. I was able to put one present under the tree for everyone in the house, so that made me happy. Last year, however, was definitely a different story, and I definitely spent that and a little bit more.

E.M.’s Word-for-Word Movies – #FPQ

This week, Fandango’s Provocative Question asks:

What movie, if any, can you practically quote from start to finish?

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I have quite a few movies that I know from start to finish, and my daughter laughs at me when I say the lines before they do in the movies I know so well.

Here’s my list *giggles*:

• Finding Nemo
• Dirty Dancing
• The Wedding Singer
• Grease (the first one…the others were terrible)
• Twilight Saga – All the movies
• Sixteen Candles
• Scarface
• Boyz N The Hood
• Purple Rain

…and my favorite movie of all time…

The Breakfast Club

I loved growing up in the 80s. Best movies, best bands, and coolest trends. I will always be an 80s junkie lol.

xoxo, E.M.

My Best Things in Life – FPQ #147

This week, Fandango’s Provocative question asks:

What’s the best thing you’ve got going on in your life at the moment?

My answer is:

I have a few things that come to mind that are the best things, but the very best thing that is going on in my life is that I finally feel good mentally. I had been spiraling in manic episodes for so long that I felt out of control and near suicidal. I was out of control, and I am finally feeling like the real me. The real me is passive and not so dark. I still like to be an emo-type girl, but that bright side of me comes out in moments when it should. That feels stable and secure. I don’t like not feeling safe. This is also the first time I am putting myself first when choosing “my best thing”.

The second best thing going on in my life right now is that my grandbaby will be turning 1 year old on December 14th. It doesn’t seem like it’s been a year since my daughter was induced and had her. This is my grandbaby:

Image Credit: M. H.

She is my light in the darkness. With one of her smiles, she makes me smile, and that is a good way to spend the day.

xoxo, E.M.

Small Fish and Big Fish – #FPQ 146

Each week, Fandango asks us his provocative question (#FPQ), and this week he asks us this question:

In your opinion, is it better to be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond? Or perhaps a big fish in a big pond? Why do you feel that way?

My Answer is:

I would have to say being the big fish in a small pond would have limitations because eventually, you will run out of fish to eat when you get hungry. The small fish in a big pond is the life I already live…too many predators but I can outrun some of them. The best scenario would be to be a big fish in a big pond because it would be rare that anyone could defeat you for space in the pond, and there would be plenty to eat.

A person should always fit into their surroundings, and it shouldn’t be so hard to survive. That is why I say that I am a small fish in a big pond. Everything is a struggle to be comfortable and live a life free of fear. If I was the big fish in the big pond, I could give a crap less what everyone else is doing.

xoxo, E.M.

E.M.’s FPQ Answer – Hell in a Handbasket

This week, Fandango’s Provocative Question asks:

If you’re American, do you concur with my assessment that our country is rapidly going to hell in a handbasket? Or do you believe that everything is hunky-dory and America’s light is shining as brightly as ever?

If you’re not an American, based upon what you’ve read, seen, and heard, do you feel that America has, indeed, faltered? Or do you think that America will weather this storm?

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Here is my answer:

I am an American, and I do concur with your assessment of this country. I think it has never been right, and I think we hide behind our government to justify actions. I think we are slowly doing away with the rights outlined in the Constitution, and I think we are on our way to a third-world government type of living, like autocracy or monarchy. We are already so mixed up in socialism, capitalism, and communism. We are unrecognizable, to be honest. We stomp on the rights of women and minorities, and we are still a Manifest Destiny state of mind. The criminal justice system is designed to assign numbers to as many people as possible (guilty and not guilty) to pay our financial deficit and to make the wealthy more wealthy. We commit genocide, and we are a big joke to other countries. We are definitely already going to hell in a handbasket.

My Body Art – FPQ #144

This week’s provocative question from Fandango is about tattoos.

Do you have any tattoos? What is the meaning or significance of them? If you do have tattoos, do you have any regrets about any of them?

My Answer is:

I have a little under two handfuls of tattoos on my body. I love body art, and all of my tattoos have happened for a reason chosen by me. Some of them cover up scars from being a cutter, and others have a more philosophical meaning along with covering my scars. There are a few that need a cover-up because they are not what I intended them to be, but all of them have a meaning that is special to me. They remind me of different periods in my life growing up and the maturity of finding more meaning as I got older.

I am one of those people that love getting the tattoo…sort of a masochist I suppose, so the act of getting a tattoo is just as therapeutic as choosing where to put it and what to wear for the rest of my life. No regrets ever…bad tattoos just give me a reason to get more to cover up the old ones lol.

xoxo, E.M.

My shoulderblade tattoo I got in 2012. The text says “Isaiah 40:31”.

This is my wrist tattoo. One bird for each of my children and a corresponding colored heart for each of their favorite colors.

This is my little sassy fairy with stardust. She’s representative of me.

There’s me with fairy dust lol.

This is my most significant tattoo with the most meaning. The owl is my spirit animal who protects me. The purple ribbon is for being a survivor of domestic violence, and I have a rose for each child, one for myself, and one to show I am still growing.

Twenty Years Ago with E.M.

Fandango’s Provocative Question this week asks us:

How much have you and your priorities changed over the past twenty years? If you’re on the younger side, answer from the perspective of the past ten years or even five years.

My Answer is:

Back in 2001, I had a 5-year-old and a one-year-old, so I tried to have my only priority as being their momma. I definitely did not always succeed. I had a rough time living back in this time because I was sometimes homeless and chaotic. I was a good mom with terrible luck because most of my family was unable to help me get my life together. I was so stubborn. I did not want to grow up and act grown. I was a drinker and partied a lot because I was young and dumb. My oldest daughter spent a lot of time with her father and my father while I tried to figure life out. My younger daughter was with me through everything, even the homelessness and couch surfing. I was definitely a different person than the woman I am today.

Back in those days, I had a voice that I did not know how to use, and I really did not know what I wanted to do with my life. My priorities now are much different. I am working hard to be a parent to my children, and I am career-minded. I know what I want to be now, and how I want to get there. I know how to use my voice to create change, and I am driving my own life now. I have had a few bumps along the way, like getting divorced and moving out here to California, but they have been bumps that have propelled me into a new life that I never knew that I wanted before. A life that looks promising is in my grasps.

Twenty years ago, I was trying to survive, and that was my priority. Now, I am surviving and trying to thrive as my priority. I cannot complain too much. Life is decent.

xoxo, E.M.