Rewind: Backwards I Go

As per usual, I will be combining my word of the day challenges into one post with a new poetry style, which today will be A L’arora. It is another Laura Lamarca style, and consists of four 8-line stanzas without a syllabic restriction. The 6th and 8th line will be the only rhymes.

The word challenges today are bowl from Daily Spur, late from Fandango, amenable from Ragtag, and clueless from WOTD via Cyanny.

This post is inspired by last night’s events with the toxic ones. I will be moving soon. I still don’t know how I feel about it. I may be going backwards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m trying to move on but keep climbing to be pushed down
Like running up a human-sized bowl with slippers on my feet
Slipping, I struggle and wriggle and beg and plead unsuccessfully
I have become amenable to your behavior, your ways, and your abuse
My insides are screaming for safety, quality, and peace
To feel the essence of my own being sounds of sanctity and bliss

Just let me be and leave me alone…let me live
You think you have not erred…dumbfound and clueless

It’s too late to stop what you put into motion
I am turning my back, walking away, gone soon
In my eyes and heart, you’ll no longer exist
A stranger with no sister, no nieces, no great niece
Your family is leaving you and lacking one tear on our face
Your own doing, losing us all this way

All I wanted is to breath, to excel, and be myself
Your control, anger, and denial turned brightness gray

Calling me out of my name that came from my birth
Pushing and yelling, your triggered my soul
Pain and suffering was not ever the master plan of my move
Dumbed out here like garbage, I needed a light for my path
I was met with your darkness, exploits, and disdain

I have to save me now from the wrath of your illness
Conversations and a relationship are dead, I refrain

You broke me from the innermost part of who I could be tomorrow
Money is not what makes this world spin upon it’s axis
Only controls people to make them as puppets of their masters
All I wanted is to be who I am, successful and benevolent
You wanted mirror-image, to mold me as an imposter

All of this sorrow, so unneeded, unnecessary, and preventable
You can check my name off of your “people to abuse” roster

xoxo, E.M.

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