E.M.’s FPQ Answer – Hell in a Handbasket

This week, Fandango’s Provocative Question asks:

If you’re American, do you concur with my assessment that our country is rapidly going to hell in a handbasket? Or do you believe that everything is hunky-dory and America’s light is shining as brightly as ever?

If you’re not an American, based upon what you’ve read, seen, and heard, do you feel that America has, indeed, faltered? Or do you think that America will weather this storm?

Here is my answer:

I am an American, and I do concur with your assessment of this country. I think it has never been right, and I think we hide behind our government to justify actions. I think we are slowly doing away with the rights outlined in the Constitution, and I think we are on our way to a third-world government type of living, like autocracy or monarchy. We are already so mixed up in socialism, capitalism, and communism. We are unrecognizable, to be honest. We stomp on the rights of women and minorities, and we are still a Manifest Destiny state of mind. The criminal justice system is designed to assign numbers to as many people as possible (guilty and not guilty) to pay our financial deficit and to make the wealthy more wealthy. We commit genocide, and we are a big joke to other countries. We are definitely already going to hell in a handbasket.

My Body Art – FPQ #144

This week’s provocative question from Fandango is about tattoos.

Do you have any tattoos? What is the meaning or significance of them? If you do have tattoos, do you have any regrets about any of them?

My Answer is:

I have a little under two handfuls of tattoos on my body. I love body art, and all of my tattoos have happened for a reason chosen by me. Some of them cover up scars from being a cutter, and others have a more philosophical meaning along with covering my scars. There are a few that need a cover-up because they are not what I intended them to be, but all of them have a meaning that is special to me. They remind me of different periods in my life growing up and the maturity of finding more meaning as I got older.

I am one of those people that love getting the tattoo…sort of a masochist I suppose, so the act of getting a tattoo is just as therapeutic as choosing where to put it and what to wear for the rest of my life. No regrets ever…bad tattoos just give me a reason to get more to cover up the old ones lol.

xoxo, E.M.

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My shoulderblade tattoo I got in 2012. The text says “Isaiah 40:31”.
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This is my wrist tattoo. One bird for each of my children and a corresponding colored heart for each of their favorite colors.
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This is my little sassy fairy with stardust. She’s representative of me.
May be an image of one or more people and eyeglasses
There’s me with fairy dust lol.
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This is my most significant tattoo with the most meaning. The owl is my spirit animal who protects me. The purple ribbon is for being a survivor of domestic violence, and I have a rose for each child, one for myself, and one to show I am still growing.

Twenty Years Ago with E.M.

Fandango’s Provocative Question this week asks us:

How much have you and your priorities changed over the past twenty years? If you’re on the younger side, answer from the perspective of the past ten years or even five years.

My Answer is:

Back in 2001, I had a 5-year-old and a one-year-old, so I tried to have my only priority as being their momma. I definitely did not always succeed. I had a rough time living back in this time because I was sometimes homeless and chaotic. I was a good mom with terrible luck because most of my family was unable to help me get my life together. I was so stubborn. I did not want to grow up and act grown. I was a drinker and partied a lot because I was young and dumb. My oldest daughter spent a lot of time with her father and my father while I tried to figure life out. My younger daughter was with me through everything, even the homelessness and couch surfing. I was definitely a different person than the woman I am today.

Back in those days, I had a voice that I did not know how to use, and I really did not know what I wanted to do with my life. My priorities now are much different. I am working hard to be a parent to my children, and I am career-minded. I know what I want to be now, and how I want to get there. I know how to use my voice to create change, and I am driving my own life now. I have had a few bumps along the way, like getting divorced and moving out here to California, but they have been bumps that have propelled me into a new life that I never knew that I wanted before. A life that looks promising is in my grasps.

Twenty years ago, I was trying to survive, and that was my priority. Now, I am surviving and trying to thrive as my priority. I cannot complain too much. Life is decent.

xoxo, E.M.

Covid Rambling – FPQ #142

This week’s provocative question from Fandango is about vaccinations and boosters for Covid-19.

Here are the questions:

If you have already received your initial COVID-19 vaccinations, are you intending to get a booster shot when it becomes available to you? Why or why not? If you have yet to be vaccinated for COVID-19, are you intending to ever get vaccinated? Why or why not?

My answer is:

I received my Moderna vaccinations through my college, and I think I had both of them completed by April. I am not sure if I will get the booster, mainly because I need to get my flu shot, and I don’t want to intertwine the two. The other factor that makes me not want to proceed with getting the booster is the way that I am. I still do not get out into the world as much as other people, and I have masked the entire time anyway. There are times that I can say that I misplaced my mask and just asked for one when I went into a business/establishment.

Overall, I guess I will play it by ear on the booster shots. I like to research the trials and make educated decisions. It’s what I did on choosing my initial pokes. The only thing that I am sure of is that I will not mix and match with the booster if I do decide to partake in getting it. My initial vaccinations were Moderna, so if I get another poke, it will need to be Moderna as well.

E.M.’s Answer to Suffering – FPQ #141

This week, Fandango’s Provocative Question asks:

Do you agree that human suffering can be beneficial and that suffering is a necessary part of the human condition? Why or why not?

My answer is this:

Whether I agree or agree to disagree, suffering should not be necessary to live life. I do not believe that every human suffers, but I do believe that good humans suffer more than most. Some people have it easier than others, and as a person who normally suffers through every second of living, I wish it was different for me. I don’t think suffering has helped me do better or learn more. I don’t think that it has made me more determined or productive. If anything, it has set me back more times than I can count on my hands and toes. It’s made me not trust and to hold back feelings, and it has caused me to question life on a continual basis. While I am having better days, the suffering is where I go to when I feel broken, and I don’t like it there.

It’s like that saying, “God does not give a person more than they can handle”. I call BS on that…He’s handed me way too much and way too many times to the point that I have a hard time with having faith that things can or will get better. Breathing and living should not be this hard. Suffering should never be necessary.

xoxo, E.M.

Pandemic Woes – FPQ #140

This week’s topic for Fandango’s Provocative Question is how the pandemic has affected our shopping habits and the reliance to online shopping to get the things we need.

Here is the question:

During the height of the pandemic, to what extent did you avail yourself of online shopping for meals, groceries, and other goods and services? If you did use online shopping and delivery services, now that things have eased up a bit, has your reliance on or use of such service continued at the same rate, increased, or decreased. To what extent?

My answer is:

I became almost completely reliant on online deliveries for most things. Amazon, Instacart, and GrubHub were my best friends and still are a bit since the onset of the pandemic. While I will still go out for a few of the things I need, like medicine and special things I want, I tend to still rely on the delivery services. Before the pandemic, I always used Amazon because of it’s convenience, so it was really nice when places started delivering groceries and other goods that you would not think you could get delivered.

However, I am ready for a normal life because I hate mask mandates and all the nonsense around vaccination vs non-vaccination stances. I see both sides of the debate, and I hate seeing further divide of our country over a poke in the arm. I miss comfort of being able to cough in public without someone eyeballing you with “the look”. I am just ready for Covid to get handled and under control because life really is so restricted right now for people. Land of the Free is not what I call this America.

xoxo, E.M.

E.M.’s Answer to #FPQ #139

Fandango’s Provocative Question this week is:

Do you consider yourself today to be more of a spontaneous person or more of a stable person? Which characteristic in others, spontaneity or stability, do you prefer? Why?

My answer is:

I am what some would call a hot mess at times and stable at other times. Sometimes I am very spontaneous when it comes to going on trips or making a romantic night out (in the past…since I am flying solo these days). I hate when I have a day planned out and something comes up spontaneous that makes me miss out on the plans that I have made. Drastic changes that come up immediately make me very uncomfortable and anxious. I guess the easy answer is that I like to have control of my life at all times because it’s the only thing I have that is my own.

I would rather be stable all of the time, but spontaneity does happen against my better judgments lol.

A good example is the drastic decision to move to Arkansas from California. Everything broke as we planned the move, and now I am staying put and trying to put my best foot forward. The move was spontaneous and made me uncomfortable, but it was one of those situations where I had to choose my battles. I lost both of those battles, and I am still here writing in order to feel stable.

When it comes to other people, I prefer stability because I am such a hot mess all in my own respect.

xoxo, E.M.


Settling vs Accepting: My #FPQ Answer

Every week, Fandango hosts a provocative question for all of us to answer, and this week’s question is:

Do you see a difference between settling for things and accepting the way things are? If so, in what way are they different? If not why do you feel settling and accepting are the same?

Here is my answer:

There is a difference between settling and accepting, but I think both are not achieving your best self. Settling is taking what you get handed to you, and it does not matter what you want. You take it and learn to live with it. Acceptance of a situation in your life is looking at all of the paths to that point and saying, “Ok, this is who I am, and I am going to make the best of what I have been blessed with”. The difference is that in acceptance, you could already be the best version of yourself and accept it, whereas in settling, you know you can be better or do better; however, you have given up a little bit in achieving your best.

Fandango’s Provocative Question #137 from E.M.

This week, Fandango’s Provocative Question, is asking:

Have you ever been to a clothing-optional (nude) venue, such as a beach, resort, club, party, etc? If so, what did you think of the experience? Would you do it again? If not, would you ever consider going to a clothing-optional gathering? Why or why not?

My Answer:

I have never been to a venue where clothing is optional, but I do not know that I would ever feel comfortable going to such a venue due to my own viewpoints about myself. My self-esteem is not strong enough to strut across a beach or sit at a table naked and feel normal. I would find myself worrying about everyone else judging me because that is how my life has been my entire life. “You need a diet” or “Putting on a few extra pounds there, eh?” Those are the normal things I grew up with. My dad was very body conscious and never was out of shape. When I started putting on pounds, he began being critical of me. I still feel the effects.

E.M.’s Answer – #FPQ 136

Fandango’s blog sponsors a prompt called Fandango’s Provocative Question, and this is my first time participating.

This week’s question is:

If you were forced to chose, would you rather live without the internet or live without air conditioning and heating? Why?

My Answer:

As much as I love, desire, want,, and need the internet for daily life, I cannot stand for my body to be too hot or too cold. I think it is worse when things are too hot rather than cold, since you can cover up when you are cold.

Just last week, I actually lost my air conditioning for a little over a day in the Valley of California. While it is on the cooling down stage of our season, it is still too hot outside to open the windows and let in the breeze. We had a bit of chaos with the toxic ones, and they played around and pretended something was wrong with the wiring (they shut the A/C breaker off at the box…). It was really stuffy and humid in the house, and it got so warm that my old, withering body got sick, literally. The positive side of it is that my daughter, granddaughter, and me gathered in my room with every fan we had and got through the night a little less hot than if we would have stayed in our own areas. It was nice to have a little slumber party.

However, concerning the cold, there was a time when I lived in Arkansas that we had a terrible ice storm, and it killed the power for 11 days in the wintertime. I remember the lowest the temperature got in my house was 52 degrees Fahrenheit, which felt very cold for everyone in the house. The positive side to this incident was, like with the air conditioning episode, that we all gathered together for those days with whatever heat source we had and made it work out for us.

Basically, I have a phone to access the things I need outside of my computers that require internet. Temperatures are important to me too *smiles*. Data is different than internet *giggles*