Another WOTD: Festival (Emo Version)

It’s a festival of smiles and of tears

When the smiles come less often

Wet eyes fill and explode with emotion

Then come the days of enjoyment

Less often, but on occasion they appear

Raised outer lips turned up in happiness

Like the music and gathering of the festival

They come and go as they please

My soul convivial when the tears leave

My essence gregarious when comes the grins

It’s my festival of emotion nonetheless

That makes me a celebration in my own sense

If I could only control the tears throughout the years

We’ll see…

My Version of Crazy

My mind races to a million or more negative places, it seems

I am the queen of my own torture, as I cannot stop the thoughts…

“Maybe everyone would prosper if I did not exist”

Then the worry comes…

Of who will love my children, my dogs, my little unnecessary stuff that surrounds me…

Who will I hurt?

Who will I bring to my level of despair with my selfish undertaking?

A conundrum of thoughts race around my brain like a hummingbird’s wings flap.

I’m screaming inside and quiet on the out…fake smiles filling my tired face.

I promise myself things will improve…get better…appease myself…

Rarely happens

Pain keeps stacking on my shoulder like a game of Jenga…weighing and unstable…

When will the tower fall atop of me, I wonder?

Who will pull the detrimental piece of the mental block inside my brain that causes me to fall?

I hope I never find out…

Insomnia

Knackered and sprawled out across my bed, I weep

All these aches and pains are making me weak

My muscles feel weary and my tendons tight

My body full of insomnia and keeping me up all night

Tears upon my pillow and blankets cast aside

Tossing and turning and flopping like an ocean’s tide

My neck feels kinked and my shoulder is stressed

Should I give up and just go get dressed?

I’ll try once more to attend to my slumber

But I believe the sheep I’m counting have my number

Struggling to find comfort in my sleigh of sleep

Finally, it’s over! Now don’t make a peep!

ZzZ. Zzz.

The Blanket of Flowers

I sat there staring at the blanket of flowers
Laying upon my father’s grayish, silver casket
Roses, carnation, and tiny baby’s breath
The greenery accenting their beauty

It was closed.

I couldn’t see him.

Are you in there, Dad?

All I can see are the flowers.

A blanket of them keeping you safe.

The preacher’s words flew through me
Bringing tears to my eyes as he spoke
Still, I couldn’t take my eyes off of the box
Covered with a spray of beauty
Thinking this was still all a big mistake.

It wasn’t though.

You are really gone.

I miss you.

I need you.

I love you.

Watch now as the words come to me in rhymes
You’re my inspiration from deep inside.
You cover me with your love.
Your words guide me and lead me here.
Your my blanket of flowers keeping me safe.