Beautiful?

Sometimes I get out of bed feeling good, and I put myself together feeling beautiful, accomplished, and happy. I try to start a new day better than the last, and that’s how I have been healing myself.

Then we have the days that I cannot bear my own reflection, and the day follows the same pattern. These are the days spent with the misery of past relationships, trauma, and abuse. I could write a book of everything and everyone who have killed seeing myself as a beautiful woman. These days are hard to heal.

The worst part of being a caring and thoughtful human being with empath skills is that you break easier and harder than the rest of the population that is considered “normal”. When someone causes pain to someone like myself, the first place it strikes is at the head of insecurities and weaknesses.

For me, those insecurities and weaknesses are contained within my self-image and vanity. I have never been a vain person, but I would rather look in the mirror and see myself as beautiful no matter who threw crap in my face. Some days are better than others, but I always hear my demons roar.

Today was an ugly day. I’m ready for a pretty one.

Difficult Selection

One must be more selective who is allowed to affect his or her life. 

It’s okay to allow yourself to be persnickety with your inner circle. 

It’s acceptable to screen the people entering your life on the daily. 

Be difficult. Be cautious. Be persnickety.

It’s your life!

It warrants looking sideways for a moment or turning your nose up to the garbage that is fed to your soul by people who are not legitimate in their intentions with the goodness in your life.

Your destination does not have to end with chaos. 

Breathe yourself in and choose to be persnickety with the welfare of your subconscious. 

You deserve it!

Finding Amy

I wanna be the one who can be happy.

I wanna breathe myself in deeply. 

There’s room for me to love the person I am. 

Without consent or consequence from him, her, you, or them. 

I am worth the time I extend to learning who I am and where I fit into this cruel world. 

My eyes reflect back to myself as if they were jeweled. 

My needing has been rendered pointless. 

The argument to keep me must be relentless. 

The feeling of love should be mutual and unique. 

Like a romance of light bouncing off the window of the corner boutique. 

What say you of me?  I really don’t care. 

This isn’t about you… As I flash you a blank stare. 

I am loving me now to the best they took away. 

My loyalty to not dwindle as I’m here to stay. 

I have to find myself without anyone else to help. 

The one that I will be open to will need to scream or yelp. 

To those that broke me, I’m finding my way back. 

You didn’t win against me… I picked up your slack.