She’s Just A Girl

She sits here worrying and contemplating her life, and she doesn’t know which path she should take.  There are good choices and bad ones along her way.  Just like everyone else, she has to make those hard choices.  It just feels too heavy and labored to find a way to be happy.  All she really does is make herself more miserable with each decision she makes.  Everyone wants her to be strong and carry herself to her destination, but, honestly, she’s just a girl.

She doesn’t have all the answers to the mysteries of this world, and she doesn’t always make the right choices.  Her struggles are just as real as his or hers or you or yours.  Each of those struggles drags her down and breaks her.  Each time she breaks, she tries to cope with the bits of herself that she has lost, not knowing if she will ever be able to get those pieces back or repair herself.  Her mind is a mess, and her heart has turned stone cold.  She cannot do everything for everyone anymore because she’s just a girl.

The reason she is just a girl is that she doesn’t know how to do or be anything or anyone else.  This is all she has ever been, and it is probably all she ever will be.  Broken.  Incapable of giving or receiving love.  Lost.  Forsaken.  She just cannot find her way back to the path that will lead her to the destination that she has always dreamed of.  Her struggle is real, and she hopes she can make it through all of the pain of this life.

Afterall, she is just this average girl with average struggles and immense pain.

 

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Anxiety

The fear inside screaming out loud
You find yourself in the middle of pain
Looking for that tiny little shroud
Of hope…keeping you steady and sane

Torn up… on the deep of your insides
Causing your heart to feel panicked
Your mind going on roller coaster rides
You find yourself feeling quite manic

Struggling…not able to breathe in and out
The pressure on your shoulders hold you down
Teetering on what is real or what it’s all about
You feel like your under…ready to drown

via Daily Prompt: Panicked