Where do we go from here?
Only you would know…
I am sitting here pondering myself
Because you don’t lend me your mind
How did we get here?
I imagine it’s all my fault
You changed along with me
Now we’re both lost in our hearts
What do you want from me?
I really don’t have a clue
Your feelings elude me
Your heart cold and skewed
When did we fall apart, my love?
Not sure how we reached this demise
I don’t remember losing your heart
Regrets overflow my mind
Why do we do this to each other?
I wish I could take it all back
For my love is always with you
Even on the darkest of our days
She sits here worrying and contemplating her life, and she doesn’t know which path she should take. There are good choices and bad ones along her way. Just like everyone else, she has to make those hard choices. It just feels too heavy and labored to find a way to be happy. All she really does is make herself more miserable with each decision she makes. Everyone wants her to be strong and carry herself to her destination, but, honestly, she’s just a girl.
She doesn’t have all the answers to the mysteries of this world, and she doesn’t always make the right choices. Her struggles are just as real as his or hers or you or yours. Each of those struggles drags her down and breaks her. Each time she breaks, she tries to cope with the bits of herself that she has lost, not knowing if she will ever be able to get those pieces back or repair herself. Her mind is a mess, and her heart has turned stone cold. She cannot do everything for everyone anymore because she’s just a girl.
The reason she is just a girl is that she doesn’t know how to do or be anything or anyone else. This is all she has ever been, and it is probably all she ever will be. Broken. Incapable of giving or receiving love. Lost. Forsaken. She just cannot find her way back to the path that will lead her to the destination that she has always dreamed of. Her struggle is real, and she hopes she can make it through all of the pain of this life.
Afterall, she is just this average girl with average struggles and immense pain.
Welcome friends to the ramblings of my subconscious! It is always hard to find the right words to introduce myself, as I am not good at speaking out front about who I am. I will just share a little and hope that it intrigues you to read further.
As a young girl, poetry always challenged my mind to think in different directions..with my creativity peaking when I discovered poetry in the 6th grade. It started with rhymes of my teachers (some getting me in quite a predicament with those said teachers), and then I started writing poems about nature and the world around me. It became an outlet for me to express myself in ways that helped me understand more than letting others into my world. As time has gone on, a darkness has filled a few of my writings, and it brings me to where I am today…rambling on about life, happiness, and even strife that I conquer or fail at in my everyday boring life.
I hope that my writings will touch you in a way to make you love what you are reading or allow you to relate to the feelings which I am bringing forth to you…the public.
E. M. Kingston