This Christmas, Santa wants the following things:
- Stop lighting the fireplace 6 hours before his estimated arrival. He is still treating the wounds from burns on his bum from last year.
- All mean kids who discovered him last year should be sedated this year by 10 PM North Pole Time. His shins do not heal with way they used to.
- He hates sugar cookies. Milk makes him gag. With that in mind, he asks Bacon. You can throw together a few tacos to go also!
- He wants us to stop putting bulbs on the bottom row of the tree. They get caught in his hat, and the noise wakes all of the bad kids that like to kick him in the shins, tie him up, and steal all the other children’s presents in the neighborhood.
- Candy canes…lots and lots of candy canes. There are not nearly enough people who hang them on the tree, and Santa loves a variety of candy cane choices when he visits your Christmas tree. Warning: Do NOT put plastic candy canes on the tree or he will leave you coal.
- Last, but not least, he asks that you stop telling your children that Santa is not real. It’s bad for business!
This post was written for Reena’s Xploration Challenge #211.