She’s Just A Girl

She sits here worrying and contemplating her life, and she doesn’t know which path she should take.  There are good choices and bad ones along her way.  Just like everyone else, she has to make those hard choices.  It just feels too heavy and labored to find a way to be happy.  All she really does is make herself more miserable with each decision she makes.  Everyone wants her to be strong and carry herself to her destination, but, honestly, she’s just a girl.

She doesn’t have all the answers to the mysteries of this world, and she doesn’t always make the right choices.  Her struggles are just as real as his or hers or you or yours.  Each of those struggles drags her down and breaks her.  Each time she breaks, she tries to cope with the bits of herself that she has lost, not knowing if she will ever be able to get those pieces back or repair herself.  Her mind is a mess, and her heart has turned stone cold.  She cannot do everything for everyone anymore because she’s just a girl.

The reason she is just a girl is that she doesn’t know how to do or be anything or anyone else.  This is all she has ever been, and it is probably all she ever will be.  Broken.  Incapable of giving or receiving love.  Lost.  Forsaken.  She just cannot find her way back to the path that will lead her to the destination that she has always dreamed of.  Her struggle is real, and she hopes she can make it through all of the pain of this life.

Afterall, she is just this average girl with average struggles and immense pain.

 

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Insomnia

Knackered and sprawled out across my bed, I weep

All these aches and pains are making me weak

My muscles feel weary and my tendons tight

My body full of insomnia and keeping me up all night

Tears upon my pillow and blankets cast aside

Tossing and turning and flopping like an ocean’s tide

My neck feels kinked and my shoulder is stressed

Should I give up and just go get dressed?

I’ll try once more to attend to my slumber

But I believe the sheep I’m counting have my number

Struggling to find comfort in my sleigh of sleep

Finally, it’s over! Now don’t make a peep!

ZzZ. Zzz.

The Struggle

Like a broken puzzle in my head

It hurts with pounding fury

Trailing down my neck to despair

Tightening my muscles

Snapping at my tendons like a rubber band

Boom Boom Boom!

This feeling inside my skull

Beating me and defeating me

Why doesn’t it just go away?

Hours of agony

Counting the minutes of anguish

My eyes have joined the party of pain

The light hurts…make it dim!

Loud noises make me cringe

Time to fight back

You won’t get the best of me today

Migraine! Leave my brain!