Sebastian’s Story ~ Part 33 ~ The Pain of Fear

Photo by Markus Spiske on

When Fiona and Finn walked into Sebastian’s room, he was sitting peacefully playing with a few toy cars on the make-shift race track that Davina had designed for him and modified with more ramps and fun turns. His face was expressionless, and he had not heard Gammy and Finn enter the room. They stood in the doorway watching him play for a minute. Finn crossed his arms and leaned to the right, while Fiona sat down with her back against the left side of the doorway.

Still, he played with the little blue truck and red sports car. Every so often, he would make a motor sound and giggle, but then his expression would fade to blankness again. Fiona wished that Davina had not put so much pressure on him to keep everyone’s secrets, but she also had to think that her daughter knew what she was doing in the long run.

The silence had lasted just long enough, and Fiona spoke up to break the silence in the room, “Hey little man…are you feeling alright?”

Sebastian did feel a bit startled and jumped at the sound of her voice, but he smiled with the sweetest laugh leaving his lips to her, and said, “I’m going to be alright Gammy. Stop worrying.”

She didn’t know how to take him telling her not to worry. It was a bit of a condescending tone for him. The smile and tone did not link together as a good combination of emotions.

“I will always worry about you, baby boy. Always…” She explained.

“I’m not a baby anymore. Okay, Gammy?” He went back to having the red car chase the blue truck on the track. His expression went empty again.

She could feel his suffrage and loss of sunshine the past couple of days, and after talking to Finn, she knew Sebastian would never be the same again.

Finn could feel the tension in the room, so he sat down with the two of them on the floor. He took a moment to clear his throat before speaking, “Do you want to talk about what you told me with Gammy?”

Sebastian stopped rolling the car and truck around, looked up to the ceiling, and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t think she will like what I said, Mr. Finn.” He whispered to Finn when he spoke.

It was a feeling that he thought Fiona would rebuke him for speaking his truth, so Finn acted as a mediator. “Gammy, Sebastian won’t be in any trouble for talking about what we talked about earlier, right?”

Fiona smiled at both, “Of course not! You both can talk to me about anything you need or want to talk about. It’s all going to be good, even if the news is bad.”

Sebastian sighed, “Okay then… I was telling Mr. Finn about seeing Auntie Brooke’s driver over at Jenna’s house the other day.” Tears welled up in his eyes. “He’s a bad man. Momma showed me a picture of him once to protect me.”

There was nothing cavalier in his tone. This was a worried little boy. Fiona was afraid the man that he was talking about was Flannery, and she asked him about the man’s appearance.

“He had dark hair and black eyes. His hair was messy, and he had tattoos all over his neck. Not pretty ones, but the ugly ones…like spiderwebs and deadheads.” Sebastian detailed about the man. “He was watching us play outside over at Jenna’s before Lucas came to save us.”

Fiona gasped inside of herself, which made her eyes pop with fear. “I know this is not good news, but don’t worry. We will find a way to check on Sharon and Jenna, Sebastian.” She put out her arms to offer him a big Gammy hug.

He accepted. He rolled up into her lap and began to cry. “I love Jenna and Miss Sharon.”

“I love them too, and we’ll check on them. It’s going to be okay sweet boy. Right, Finn?

Finn stood up, boldly and with strength, “I am going to make my way over there to check on them now. Lucas has a driver waiting for me. I will bring them to safety, Little Man.”

“No promises, Mr. Finn. Alright?” Sebastian offered his pinky for a “pinky swear”.

Finn smiled and locked his pinky with the little hands of the worried boy, “No promises. I’ll be back.”

Finn walked out of the room, and Sebastian held on tighter to Fiona. “I didn’t talk soon enough, Gammy.”

“Oh sweetie…you did great by telling us! Let’s just see how things go with Mr. Finn.” She patted him on his back and rocked on the floor with him like Davina used to do when he was upset. “Here now, let’s get you feeling better. Do you want to read a book or keep playing cars?”

Sebastian left her lap, stood in front of her, and surprised her, “None of those will work right now Gammy. Can I play alone right now?”

It was like concrete landing inside of her heart, THUD! It felt like the fear was stopping it for a moment. She was sure her heart had just broken, and he saw her shock grow on her face also.

After she caught her breath, she cleared her throat and nodded in agreement. “Sure, sweet boy. You need your space.”

She smiled and exited into the hallway, pressing her body up against the wall and breaking out in an anxiety attack. She could not understand her body’s reaction to the words of dismissal from Sebastian. She felt like this pain inside of her grandson was Sebastian’s remuneration for his father’s sins, and she became scared of how her chest was feeling in contrast to the pain of her fear. It had been building for a while, and his terror was heartbreakingly disabling for her now. She kept telling herself that she had to keep it together, and she followed those affirmations with deep breathing. She was dizzy, and she was not feeling well.

With the hallway blurring and gasping to catch her breath, she called out to Lucas as she collapsed to the semi-soft, carpeted ground. The last thing she saw was Sebastian standing over the top of her crying.

If you are new to this series, you can start reading the first one by clicking HERE. I started this story with a photo prompt on Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge.


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